These bunnies are about to hunger your mind hole. Wait. That got away from me.

Are you ready for this? Let me answer that one for you. You're not ready. Because what you are about to see is so Legen...

wait for it...

dary* that it is going to blow your mind right out of your skull, it is going to make your eyeballs leave on vacation and decide never to return, your jaw will drop so far it will penetrate and destabilize the center of the earth. I ask you again. Are. You. Ready?

You're still not. But here it comes anyway.

We told you about discovering the Rogue Creamery on our trip back from Spokane but we alluded to something in that post and never filled you in on the rest of the details. In fact, we've been anxiously holding on to those details ever since, just waiting for the right time. That time, you see, is Halloween, and the item we've been waiting to unveil is this:

They're called Voodoo Bunnies, and if I had a yearly list of favorite things, these little rascals would be at the top of it.

You see, Lillie Belle, the amazing and tiny chocolate shop (Blue cheese truffles? Yes!) next to the Rogue Creamery had windows from the main floor into their working space. On cursory first glance at these little guys, Dana just saw bunnies and so passed on to ogle the dastardly delicious confections lining the shelves. Macadamia Ginger Chew! Lemon coconut buttercream! The almost nefarious-sounding Dark Star! At the time, I was invested in staying still enough to take long exposures of a vat of chocolate running silkily through a mixing machine that I wished I could be.
When I made it to the window overlooking the bunny work area, I was so anesthetized by the swirling of chocolate it took me a minute to notice something odd was going on: these bunnies weren't all right. In fact, they were all kinds of wrong. The more I looked the more their grotesqueries became clear. One had a hole where an ear should have been and a tiny marzipan brain showing through its chocolate skull, a white chocolate bunny had a chunk of shoulder ripped out and miniscule musculature and bones showing clean below its unconcerned face, the worst though was the bunny with its head thrown back and its throat absent all the way to the tiny candy spine.

photos above courtesy of Lillie Belle Farms

These are the logical yet stony extension of thought for anyone who's had a sudden flash of empathy for the dismembered hollow chocolate easter bunny, who's ever suppressed a shiver after snapping off the head of an animal cracker lion. You wanted to have your anthropomorphised animals and you wanted to eat them too.

Well you just got your wish.

D and I are big fans of zombies. For years now we've hosted a Zombie Prom every halloween, have washed cakes of fake blood from our hair or scrubbed it from our skin more times than I can even remember. And if we're forsaking all that this year for a turn of the horriblest of screws, well it doesn't mean we like zombies any less. Although if one more person tells me about this book, I swear to God I will consume them.

So, okay, I know, you're totally like ho hum, I thought this revelation was going to blow my mind and yet it was so... pedestrian.

But check this out. The folks at Lillie Belle weren't just working on these bunnies idly. Oh no, they certainly were not.

In honor of the holiday, the voodoo bunnies are now for sale!

Just a simple click here and you too can revel in the majesty, the wonder, the sickening reality of your very own disfigured candy rabbit! And I assure you that you can't go wrong with anything else from the store, either. Even the chocolate covered bacon I had there was a hit!

Enjoy in chocolatey, disgusted good health!

*: It's really not my fault, How I Met Your Mother season 4 just came out and we've been mainlining it in a tube pulled straight from Netflix. By the way, if you haven't seen the series, let me ask you one thing: Haaave you met Barney?